Blog 90 … How to deal with the Fear of Failure

Thank you my lovely friend Kerris for suggesting that I write a blog on a problem that so many of us have or had in the past. Kerris and I worked together when I was the manager of Pinetops leisure centre, I’ve known her for years and I can honestly say that “she is one of the worlds lovliest people” (she’s flipping gorgeous too)

So I really hope that this subject matter is for other people and not her. Fear of Failure is a nasty mindset disruption.

Why should any of us be afraid of failing? Why did I always fear failure? Yes me, I think actually I still do. But it has to go.

Is it a human thing? Am I unusual for feeling this or do we all feel it?

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Come on please let me know? It’s really great to share thoughts.

So is it that we grow up fearing things? I think that sometimes the fear of it not working, can stop us point blank from actually having a go. Therefore we cannot fail can we ??? Sneaky hey !!

Is it low self esteem? Now there’s a thought if we had uber confidence would we ever think about failing at anything?

But when confidence is low, we can focus on the negative side of life, our thoughts are more –

You can’t do this
You are rubbish
You are not capable
You will not be able to do it
You don’t have the skills
You won’t be able to do it as well as …..
You will not be as good as……

etc. etc. etc.

Even celebrities have fear of failure – even the confident people you knew at school !!! (what !!! really???? yes them)

Who knows what is lurking behind those confident – successful people !!!

What is the meaning of fear of failure?

lack of success: example
“an economic policy that is doomed to failure”
synonyms:
lack of success, nonfulfillment, defeat, collapse, foundering, …

I’m starting to believe that all failure is literally just a learning experience. And what’s more it is our own perception of “failing” that is the important factor.

As in… divorce – is that failure of a marriage or Successful getting out of a bad relationship?

Crikes… is this just another glass half empty, fail !!! Glass half empty tipped over your head = epic fail – glass then smashed over head – complete and utter fail ????

Let’s start to put this “Fail” malarky to bed !!! or at least sit it on the naughty stair !!!

A failure to one person might simply be a great learning experience for someone else. Many of us are afraid of failing, at least some of the time. But fear of failure (also called “atychiphobia”) is when we allow that fear to stop us doing the things that can move us forward to achieve our goals.

How do we know we have “ATYCHIPHOBIA”?

Stop and look at what you have achieved? Have you actually done loads of stuff? Of course you have!!! Everyday you are successful at things.

I have a feeling that it’s our mindset that has a deep desire to be a meany and it keeps telling us that we won’t be able to complete a task or be a good at it. Have we embedded these bad thoughts so deeply that they are the good swimmers…. the tough nuts, the ironmen of thoughts that rise to the top when we think about having a go at something new. Then they stand on your little pile of positive thoughts and then jump on them to make sure they are smashed to tiny bits.

What’s your fear? A new job? Relationship? Climb a mountain?

What is the worst that could happen if I fail?

I’ve said this a lot through my life. I am thinking that I have failed a lot but now I am reflecting on it.

Crikey when you try or have a go at sooooo much you are bound to rack up a shed load of Fails !!! Simply by the law of averages you are doing more so therefore in percentage terms (I really shouldn’t do maths) you are going to “Fail” more.

Why don’t we all just decide to let ourselves off this madness. Why don’t we make a big leap of faith for ourselves and keep having a go at new things. Eliminate this word from our minds. It’s nothing but a self destruct button. Let’s never press that one again.

Why don’t we step over that self restricting line. Come on hop over it now with me. one two three…….. jump – whooosh (now did anyone fail to jump – lol) Come along it was a hypothetical jump – we can all do those without fear. Try again – Yay we did it.

Now learn from the first attempt and think what do I need to do to get better at this. I did well and I know I can do better. It’s in me, I like it I’m going to smash it out one of these days.

Failure1

I would feel sad if I thought about all my failures all of the time, I mean I’ve had some epic failures !!!! but now they are just a learning curve… they have helped me to be a success.

I’m like everyone else, a work in progress – I love learning new things and challenging myself. I always have but now I put myself out there for the world to see, so the fears could actually be bigger because guess what.

People on facebook may judge me ………………… Now how ridiculous does that sound !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and how absolutely true is it?

BUT DO WE CARE? YES WE DO !! but why?
Let’s stop being so bothered about what others think of us. Let us know who we are and that we can at least have a go at something without the completely overwhelming fear of failure.

Plan your stuff – make notes and considerations. There’s a few links to pages that have loads of good stuff to help.

It’s time to change our mindsets. Let us be the ironmen of our minds, Let’s take control of our thought patterns. Let’s build a community of strong, confident people who say to you,

Is that your dream? Have a go.

I mean “what’s the worst that can happen hey” Someone you don’t even know that well on your facebook page says (she’ll never do that) or they will shrivel with envy that you tried.

But focus not on others but yourself.. Build your confidence to the enth degree.

Be strong Be Confident Be YOU.

So let this blog (thank’s to Kerris) start some food for thought

Failure 2

A great link to give good ideas !!!

https://www.wakeupcloud.com/overcome-the-fear-of-failure/

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Author: gillfell

I am passionate about helping people achieve more out of life, I have lots of ideas and information about staying upbeat, healthy and getting what you want out of life. My mission is to help you transform your mindset so you really believe you can have the life you want. I have tried and tested techniques for you, I will help you get there and enjoy happiness along your journey.

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