My husband Simon came home and said “did you have a nice national menopause day dear”… “I didn’t know it was National Menopause day darling” I replied. “Nor did I” he responds “the women in the office told me about it”…..
So we hear just about everything about National Days.. so why did I not know about this spectacularly great day to celebrate?
Because Menopausal woman become invisible?
When you walk down a street you no longer get whistle abuse from builders. I never took wolf whistles as abuse by the way but rather complimentary !! Is that weird?
I was standing at the swimming pool bar on a holiday last year, when it was my turn to get served the bar tender a young man, just kept serving the next person – male or female even though I was waving my money around. All the other people also just allowed him to serve them before me.
I said rather sharply
“Excuse me, Excuse me, Young man I have been waiting to be served for a very long time ! Can you not see me?” He glared at me
I continued “would you let your mother or grandmother wait like I am?” he softened his look
“I know I am not young and bikini clad, but I still exist” he apologised and from then on I got served super quickly.
Hellooooooo, should we really have to ask to be noticed? Normally I don’t care but I really was a bit miffed at having to wait and the rudeness of not just the barman but those young fresh faced, bikini clad, hot babes that didn’t notice it was my turn either (hint of bitterness …. note to me -DEAL WITH IT OLD BIRD) !!! LOL
My new impression of Menopause goes a bit like this……..
I remember the first time the adoring looks from passers by went to my daughter instead of me. I looked at her and thought “yes I can see why that’s happened” and I am very happy that she is as gorgeous as she is.
So “The Change of Life” as it is commonly called is a real transition of all kinds of things. We have so much to adapt. We don’t intend to change but our hormones say differently.
And you just try and control those little blighters !!!!
I have read just about every article on foods for hormones, yoga for menopause, exercising, etc. etc. etc.
You think hey this is ok, I’m smashing this, my hot flushes seem to have subsided but then BAM you are getting ready to go out and you feel that you look reasonable, wait for the taxi, get in (still looking acceptable) but get out looking like someone showered you in a boiling hot sauna room, you are dripping head to toe, you feel sick and are pulling at your clothing to allow the draught of the outside world hit some skin, somewhere, anywhere, just cool me please.
So Polo necks are a thing of the past, you no longer want the heating on, the air conditioning is your best friend and you have been know to spend excessive amounts of time looking for things in the Fridge. Really just enjoying the delicious cool in there.
I spoke to my doctor about why menopause hits women at the same time puberty hits your teenage daughter? Nature seems to be out of sync. She told me that she was on HRT and I couldn’t have it but it was brilliant.. Oh cheers lol.
However the point she made was that we are no longer needed, we have reproduced and our bodies were “shrivelling up” !!! yes SHRIVELLING UP…… and what’s more we should be just glad we are still alive !!!
Well that told me !! I was already feeling a bit glad to be alive after all the other flipping things I had been through. Menopause was like a boiling cherry on top of the ever expanding pie I called my body.
So menopause can go on for years…. hurrah that means we will still be alive !!! Menopause can make us a little fatter, …. hurrah that means we can go on a diet because we are still alive, Menopause makes you want to rip peoples heads off randomly because they are being irritating… Yay we alive and highly irritated. Menopause can suck you into a dark black hole, where you feel, impossibly useless, without purpose, too hot, too lacking, too old and ugly… but yay we are still alive.
I started painting a canvas in my little cabin on my dark days… The painting is now complete and it is called “menopause” – Simon told me it was too dark and gloomy !!! yeah I said “that’s menopause”
Some days you are in a black hole, some days you need to stay indoors and avoid people just in case you say something you can’t take back. Painting really helped me, to splash your feelings out on a canvas was so theraputic. No one was judging my art – ha if you can call it art. I splashed paint here and there, put black wiggly lines on it. Splashed green and red and all kinds… Then went over bits as my mood changed, it brightened up.
It was brilliant therapy
So now I actually do think I am over the worst. I have meditated and Reiki’d and eaten walnuts etc etc etc. But out of all the things I have done the best thing is to share your feelings with someone you can trust.
Not everyone, just someone who will not give you a load of advice but just text you and say, just stay in I’ll pop round for a cuppa.
Let your mood pass without doing anything dangerous. Yes I mean that, don’t act on menopausal days. Don’t make life changing decisions. You are not in your “normal” frame of mind.
Just get through the day by doing whatever it is you have to.
So here’s to National Menopause day next year… Yay, we will still be alive and hot and sweaty and moody and so beautifully female.
It’s great to share the fact that you are not perfect and that you could do with a blanket of love wrapped around you.
If you don’t have that person to envelop you with the warmth (oh turn it down please) then use this comment box on the blog site to reach out to people… We can all chat and help each other.
Mainly just know that it will get better and if you get your mindset nice and strong you will definitely benefit. I know I did.
Understand that you are not alone, and it is not something that is easily brushed aside. Share with your friends or if it really does get too much go to see your GP and let her or him tell you that you should be “shrivelling nicely and glad to be alive” !!!
Most of all try and find some humour somewhere.
We are not invisible – We are Woman of a certain age – We are HOT !
Love you all you gorgeous sweaty beings.
Positive not perfect and Totally bonkers