I’ve made loads of decisions this week as I do every week, like you do also. My thoughts today are about all these decisions I feel I have to make and why I challenge myself so much.
I can be a loose cannon sometimes when it comes to self sabotage, and I listened to a Tony Robbins pod cast yesterday to see if the great motivation guru could shed a bit of light on it.
You see, what I do, is, I get something going that is really good then I pull the plug on it, as in, give it away, sell it, move on, hate it, find it’s “not for me” or just get bored with it.
I have in my life started many things then given up, not just an unfinished project left to fester, no good things that I have developed and worked at made into a success and then packed it in.
Am I just a starter of things?
Is my purpose to get something started for someone else?
I question this regularly as I am just about to pull the plug on something else.
Now Mr Robbins suggested that it isn’t self sabotage !!! but lack of planning !!! Well sorry Tone, but I plan to the enth degree, military precision goes into the work that I do.
So that only means… Gill you are a self sabotage er ……
hmmmmmm, well lets put that into the past tense. I was a self sabateur but from now on… now that I have recognised that I have this glowing button of destruction I will not press it.
Can you relate to this.
It can go deep into many areas of our lives. Marriages, jobs, businesses for example.
I must have had a bad experience when I was young. Apart from the feeling of being ugly and undesirable – my self esteem was blown up from the beginning (no one did this – it just didn’t materialise)
I developed the ability to bin bag things before they binned me !!!
Yeah – get in there first – why? Because you take control of your hurt in that way. It’s you making the decision to destroy something because the pain of that, is a lot easier than the pain of someone else doing it to you.
Pause for thought………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… oh heck !!!
Then the thought of yeah… oh heck (or more expletives depending on your level of foul mouth).
Right that’s it for pausing, time is a ticking, life is a going fast and it’s time to adjust that section of brain programme that is imprinted with Ms Saboteur.
Hang on while I flick a few switches.. ahh that’s better, right yeah all done. So that won’t happen again will it?
Not that easy? Not a flicky button switch job? Ok it won’t happen over night but today is the day that the new programme is launched.
Like the queen smashing a perfectly good bottle of champers on a new ship.
“I Gill Fell officially launch the new programme of do not pull the plug on all your good stuff”
But no smashing bottles here… I will next time I am enjoying bubbles make a toast to Me, changing my habits of thought at my fine menopausal, mid-life (aherm) maybe heading for old, age have launched with blow type bubbles (my fav kind) A new thought process.
Yes Tony Robbins would be so proud. Ester Hicks would bow her head with great joy, Oprah would say you go girl and Maya Angelou would say “what kept you”.
Woo hoo I am so excited not to be destroying all my good stuff. Have a think if you are doing the same?
Look at your “thing” is it your relationship, business, home, car etc. Before you go binning it. Take a look at how you can improve it.
Can you throw some love at it? Give it a little hug and compassion?
But please STOP yourself from destroying it or handing it over to someone else.
Give it some proper thought. Your work deserves it, your time is valuable, the things you create are important.
I personally am working on changing my critical eye to a much more forgiving and less impatient eye.
Look at my work and life purpose and believe that it is all exactly as it should be.
Be kinder to yourself and keep your work going you are in it for a reason. Don’t go giving up just when it’s about to go banana’s.
How far have we all come on this journey? Flipping glad at 57 I am finally realising that I do this…. yay
Sometimes I think it may be because it’s easy to compare yourself with other people…. well it’s time to stop that too.
My message now is over and I will go and love the new confidence in my work and give myself some compliments which I will of course accept graciously.
Next Blog is about Fashion !!!! yeah Manchester Fashion week.
Love and hugs
Positive Not Perfect
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