I sneak about trying not to wake Simon (it’s 5am and I desperately want to see the sunrise) I have to put on my fractured leg boot, make sure that I keep my other foot straight whilst I hobble down the landing to the front of the house – there is is … the orange glow of the sun peaking through the houses at the front and slightly to the right of where my house stands. The great East. Then…
I hear the frantic sounds of a blue bottle (type of fly) trying desperately to find an escape. It’s making a buzzing sound, it’s wings must be batting out at velocity to make that noise. I open the window and gently (obviously it’s very easy to accidentally swat said fly. I shuffle the fly towards the window and out it goes. Away to live (I hope) another day or 2 in the freedom of the outdoors. It is released, and I am silently wishing it a happy life,thinking it needs a drink probably and something nice to lick or whatever flys do to sustain themselves.( I think they like poop). In bugs life at the bug bar someone ordered the poo poo platter (lol).
I know it’s going to be a good day. One fly saved. Now what?
Tea. I am downstairs now
I’m sure the fly is happier now. I know I am.
I have so much thinking time at the moment it probably isn’t good for me. But I do think that all life is as important as mine.
A fly saved is one small gesture – the sun is glowing orange now. I can hear seagulls, I imagine I’m on holiday, the chink in the curtain where you see that it’s another sunny day. My thing is to say “is it sunny” even if it’s only to myself. I seek out sunny. My inner child is booming at the moment, like I am trying to get back to the fun time of life, before the scars and bad decisions set in.
Best not to dwell on things too much.
Today is going to be a good day, because I am going to try my best to make it that way.
Today is a day for liking who I am. Being productive in someway and being human (that’s the difficult bit).
Today I choose to see the sunrise(all day)
Today I choose to be happy (all day)
Today I choose to save myself first then save a fly.(all day long)
What do you choose?
Now I know that some people are waking up in the world with serious problems. Special love to you. Just know that in your mind – you can take yourself off somewhere. If you are in a hospital then take your mind outside, into the fresh air. If you are elderly and housebound, think of holidays and running through the countryside or driving a fast car, choose something that you love. Pretend to go skinny dipping, or climbing a mountain. In your mind you can be as active as you choose.
Today I choose to send love and warmth from my heart.
Today I choose to send compassion.
I cannot save the world. But I can connect from my heart.
The fly I saved was saved with love. Save yourself with similar love.
Make excellent choices.
If I could put fires out or perform great heroic acts I certainly would do. But from here, This glorious place where I get to sit and be, I can indeed send love from my heart to yours.
Today choose to send out love.
Today Choose to connect from your heart.
Make your day a good day.
Watch the sun rise, sun set and know that another day of your precious life has been lived.
Who are you?
Congratulate yourself for your small victories. Know that all the problems in the world are not your fault and that you are doing your best.
Who are you? Find out all the good things about yourself.
Today I choose to be Gill Fell – such a short name, but I will be the best that I can be today.
I’m no push over – I won’t do everything everyone wants me to do and that’s great. I won’t even say just what everyone wants me to say. Today I choose to please myself. If I am proud of myself then how can others not be proud of me too.
As the day dawns, the beauty of life is apparent to me. I see the choices of people around me, they will make their own versions of themselves, it’s not my job to judge them.
I am not the same as you. You are not the same as me.
The sunrise is the same for us both, for us all. The light we share and the hours in each day are the same for us all. How we choose to spend them is different.
I choose to be calm today, try not to overthink, keep referring back to the simplicity of nature. It’s a still day. Quiet.
The sun has risen, the fly is saved. I have choices.
I choose to see the sunshine through the clouds.
I choose to be Gill Fell, the best version of me.
Yes. I choose that. Simple.
Go easy this day in July 2018, thank you and I forgive myself and others.
This is going to be a good day, if we make it so.
I wish you the best choices today, and everyday. Please save something today, especially your thoughts.
with love and connection from me to you.
POSITIVE NOT PERFECT ™