I was going to call this blog “How to cope at Christmas” but flipping heck I need to read a few blogs, listen to a few podcasts, do a webinar, check out every instagram story and other peoples facebook posts to get a handle on what the heck we are supposed to do and feel at this time of year.
Q. Would I cope better if I became more productive off social media????
We are becoming a zombie to our mini screens of acceptance and judgement.
It is becoming so apparent that the social media way of life is creating a feeling of despair amongst us all.
I mean we used to be delighted with our multi coloured lights on our tree with a selection of coloured baubles, tinsel and a few chocolate gifts (which btw – over the years have shrunk and now you have to tie the string yourselves)
and to see other peoples trees we would have to pretend to take evening strolls and hope that the neighbours left the curtains open enough for you to take a peak and admire or secretly judge and compare with yours. I am like Darcy of the Christmas lights judging panel… (speak in posh voice) “yes, you have done really well, I love the way you have sprinkled glitter on your path, but darling lets focus on the way your icicle lights are a complete mismatch with your Santa sleigh, and btw your raindeers lights are flickering out of sync with your tree lights, from the outside I would say lovely but a tiny bit of a re-do would be preferable, but well done anyway”…. We used to do a drive by, 2 houses, semi detatched seemed to be in competition as to who could burst the national grid – they scored nil point by the way for class but boy did they light up the sky…. bit like this but much less tasteful (in my obviously asked for opinion) !!!
My Tree is considerably better than your tree… I have 102 likes and 4 loves and 1 ha ha !!! Obviously an error (note to self block, un-friend, un-follow huh)
NOW NOW BE NICE !!!!!
Now though… come on now though !!! What is going on, we now have tree envy on social media, we have Christmas trees with massive pink unicorns all over it, or it’s all pink, or all white, or its got huge teddy bears all over it? I mean what’s that all about. But oh the hundreds of likes they get? yes I’ve checked they get loads of likes and their admiring fans gush over their extremely good taste and they are so talented … yeah yeah yeah… If only facebook had a lie detector – oh now that would be so funny. Imagine if you got an electric shock every time you “Lie Liked” someones post, or the tea they had on holiday? Or worse their cocktails …… How many of us actually scroll down the comments, all 84 of them, I mean 84 comments on a two for one, happy hour, mojito ? Oh but I can detect those fake likes, a mile away, there’s a little positive going on with a huge undertone of “I hate you, you didn’t invite me to happy hour, 241, night, why why why, do you hate me so much, oh I hate myself, that’s why, I don’t event like cocktails but that’s not the point is it, bwahhhhhhhh boo hoooooo, but I love your top where’s that from ? ” the gritted teeth emoji is just not used enough.
But productivity is at an all time low, I mean take me for example, my phone now tells me how productive I have not been. SCREEN TIME….. more like scream time, for now instead of doing the ironing and writing useful blogs etc (hmmm) – I am pretending to be productive on social media, sharing my soup idea, giving 3 people complete hatred of me because I buy organic veg. I’m so sorry you lovely 3 people, I am sending you out a message of love, because you, yes you, LIKED my post !!! and for that I am eternally grateful …… whaaaaattttttt but I am not going to dumb down my veg to make you feel better about your purchases, and yes I know there’s too much packaging !!! It’s like they looked at the photo and looked again until the negative jumped off the page and then happiness ensued.
NEGATIVITY BRINGS SOME PEOPLE ETERNAL JOY…. oh please do one !!!
If you fake like someones negative post, that means a fairy gets sprouts for tea !!! So just bear that in mind.
If you join my gang (please note not a tribe… crikey how many tribes can we be in, do we think we are like a Morman man we can have as many tribes as we can cope with !!!) I know they have wives !!! I would love to know what that’s like, I mean you wouldn’t have to make the tea every night some other wife could do that whilst you go and get your nails done or something? If he was an ugs husband then you could hide in the kitchen cupboard when it was your turn (for hanky panky etc) oh crikey that was a bit of a digression oops…. where was I oh yes, Negative people. Booooooo go wallow elsewhere…
My number one tip to deal with Negative people on social media.
Bin them – life is hard enough sometimes without having to pretend to like their rant or their teeny weeny problem !!!
Do we actually check how many people like our posts? I saw someone actually moaning that it takes ages to post on their personal facebook and 3 other sites they have. And she was actually telling people that she was fed up in fact sad face emoji was used.. Now that’s serious. Not enough likes – I had to find a good gif to answer that one (lol).
I am ashamed to say that I have a personal best (or worst) screen time of 6 hours and 40 minutes !!! how awful is that. That is the total amount of time I actually had my phone in my hands searching for rubbish or liking your holiday snaps – I mean it would be rude not to stick a few likes on the photo’s of you looking longingly at the ocean with the total love of your life, before you stroll along to the most amazing restaurant to have the best dinner ever !!! ha you really expect us to believe that ? You had a bag of chips as the sun set over the power station … didn’t you ???? ha ha I’d rather see that photo.
I think we need to make a stand here or facebook needs to get rid of those people who permanently make their lives seem so perfect, or at least have some sort of filter for bad taste Christmas Trees? There could be a Mary Whitehouse of Facebook posts. Now that would be a job I would love
What you don’t know who Mary Whitehouse was !!! oh google her….
Anyway – I hope you are having a fabulous day and are not taking my little skit blog too seriously … If you are then … uuugggggg get a sense of humour.
Don’t forget to subscribe to my delicious blogs… I’m getting new feel for writing how I actually think….
No more Fake likes for me… If I don’t like it I won’t be liking ….. let’s make our social media more fun.
Let’s make each other laugh.
So TTFN oh great gang members (oh I’m not the leader were gonna take it in turns like good gang members should)
Now I’m off to put some of the decs the kids made in play school on the Christmas tree – Don’t judge me… Oh well go on then
from me to you
Heart connected love and laughter come on ……
POSITIVE NOT PERFECT
My next event in Liverpool